Hey guys and gals, well maybe not so much gals of account that we hardly get any view on the site and what girl would want to end up on a comics site… Any way, I just thought I might say a few things to you guys to try to get to know me better.
I enjoy long night time walks on the beach, piña coladas, going shopping with my mother to pick out this seasons latest outfits and check out the new trends, and best of all staying up late on a saturday night with my girl friends eating chocolate ice cream and watching the romantics and dramas on the tube…
Well… maybe not so much, but the good news is that I still likes the ice creams!
Editor’s Note
Most of that is (sigh) unfortunately true…
especially the seasonal outfits thing!
So today i was at wal-mart looking for a new deodorant (not that i actually use deodorant) as i was searching through all the scents and brands i realized something, the deodorant selection for men SUCKS! its a market targeted at bros. (pronounced Brah) i mean, think about it, what the hell are we supposed to smell like now?
Here is an example, there are two companies that manufacture deodorant owned by Procter & Gamble (Trade Symbol: PG) these are Old Spice and Secret.
While the Secret company which sells mostly women’s deodorant has scents that are easily recognizable and distinguishable such as Lemon, Orange, Lavander, Rose petal, and cherry, the male deodorant P&G company, old spice sells shit like Pure Sport!, After Hours!, Showtime!, High Endurance! Pure Sport! (again), and Fresh! (wtf?). I mean what is this shit, what do they smell like? the only way of knowing is buying this ridiculous shit and saying, oh hell yeah, i smell like pure sport. Wait, thats not even a scent, its completely artificial, and you know what, i bet most women don’t find most of these deodorants attractive. i mean, lets face it, there are a LOT of men (stereotypes mostly) who just pour it on and think that the more Axe Body Spray™ they get the more Bitches® they get. No it doesnt work that way, most women probably prefer a scent that is subtle and not very strong or to not smell anything at all. I mean, seriously, have you ever had a girl say to you “damn, baby, you smell like PureSport” that doesn’t sound sexy at all, it sounds gross in my opinion! Meanwhile, lets take the opposite scenario, lets say you are out with your girlfriend one day, hug her, and say “Wow, i like how your hair smells, its just like lavender.” It’s kinda cute and complimentary right? She would probably smile at the comment, and think its sweet.
I guess what I’m trying to get at is we need a better selection of male antiperspirants deodorants and body spray, because honestly i dont like smelling like “Extreme Rush” I don’t find the smell of an old Rush Limbaugh pleasing, no matter how extreme FOX makes him look.
In conclusion fuck all of you that just pour the Axe on, fuck all of you that like smelling of “Overtime – for active lifestyles” and fuck all of these corporations that keep targeting young, hawt, football addicted Brahs with too much testosterone. Old People and Nerds who never leave the house sweat too. Hell Fat ass nerds like myself sweat a lot all the time, especially during summer, so how about you make a scent called “Python – for those who spend more time programming than socializing.” or better yet, how about ODORLESS! god damn, its so fucking obvious!
The other day I was bored and messing with my xbox right?… good, just making sure we’re all on the same page here. So I was in the process of sending a message to one of my friends (I didn’t send a voice message because I didn’t feel like talking, I’m lazy as hell remember?) and I thought to myself, “there’s got to be a better way of inputting a message without buying the overpriced message pad for the controller”. So my quick wit decided it was about time I tried out my computer keyboard… The only reason I hadn’t tried it earlier is because I was too damn lazy to go pick up they keyboard and put the batteries in it (because it’s wireless!!!) and plug in the receiver for it… So anyways, back to my story. When I finally did get around to plugging it in it worked!!! It’s been so damn great now not having to use the shitty ass controller to do something it wasn’t meant for. And now microsoft is frowning down upon me for using a keyboard and not buying the pad for the controller. Yay!
Aahhh! The all mighty respected, and most feared of spiders. Apparently they’re now invading my home, which sucks. Today I found two not even half a foot away from each other. The way I discovered them was when I was in my old room just checking it out and stuff (because we’re going to rent it out) and I was just kicking the carpeting that one of the steps has with my bare foot (well not really bare, I had socks on) when they both popped out what was disturbing their home. Who would of thought that they were unwelcome and I would end up killing them on the spot with a shoe! Luckily for my family and I, an exterminator will be coming soon. MUAHAHAHA! (that was an evil laugh). I would have taken a picture to post up on here but the entire scene was just too gruesome. They weren’t that big. They weren’t that small either… I’m the man. I’m going to go change myself now…
Editor’s Note:
Please tell me that you are only changing clothes because you have been wearing the same clothes for two days, and not because you pissed yourself after seeing them two gruesome spiders.
I just can’t get over how shitty the food is at theme parks. It’s like they make it shitty on purpose just to make you look like a dumb ass for paying the outrageous entry price into the park. This weekend I went down to L.A. for this thing and magically decided to go to Universal Studios: Hollywoodland! The price to get in wasn’t that bad I have to say. It was about around $50 dollars US… I think, but I can understand that at least they don’t try to jew you out of your money (Disneyland cough cough, around 100 dollars US) because they only actually good rides were the Jurassic Park and Revenge of the Mummy ( I went on the Mummy ride like 4 times) and that’s about it. But at Disneyland and pretty much every other themepark the food is shit. Like do they not want us to go back? If that was the only factor I wouldn’t go back. Disneyland sucks anyway once you hit puberty anyways. Then all you think about is boobs and masturbating. :)
Editor’s Note:
Agreed!
wait, you were in LA all of last week?
…fucker…
