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Things That Piss Me off: Deodorant choices.

20 July 2009, 22:34

So today i was at wal-mart looking for a new deodorant (not that i actually use deodorant) as i was searching through all the scents and brands i realized something, the deodorant selection for men SUCKS! its a market targeted at bros. (pronounced Brah) i mean, think about it, what the hell are we supposed to smell like now?
Here is an example, there are two companies that manufacture deodorant owned by Procter & Gamble (Trade Symbol: PG) these are Old Spice and Secret.
While the Secret company which sells mostly women’s deodorant has scents that are easily recognizable and distinguishable such as Lemon, Orange, Lavander, Rose petal, and cherry, the male deodorant P&G company, old spice sells shit like Pure Sport!, After Hours!, Showtime!, High Endurance! Pure Sport! (again), and Fresh! (wtf?). I mean what is this shit, what do they smell like? the only way of knowing is buying this ridiculous shit and saying, oh hell yeah, i smell like pure sport. Wait, thats not even a scent, its completely artificial, and you know what, i bet most women don’t find most of these deodorants attractive. i mean, lets face it, there are a LOT of men (stereotypes mostly) who just pour it on and think that the more Axe Body Spray™ they get the more Bitches® they get. No it doesnt work that way, most women probably prefer a scent that is subtle and not very strong or to not smell anything at all. I mean, seriously, have you ever had a girl say to you “damn, baby, you smell like PureSport” that doesn’t sound sexy at all, it sounds gross in my opinion! Meanwhile, lets take the opposite scenario, lets say you are out with your girlfriend one day, hug her, and say “Wow, i like how your hair smells, its just like lavender.” It’s kinda cute and complimentary right? She would probably smile at the comment, and think its sweet.
I guess what I’m trying to get at is we need a better selection of male antiperspirants deodorants and body spray, because honestly i dont like smelling like “Extreme Rush” I don’t find the smell of an old Rush Limbaugh pleasing, no matter how extreme FOX makes him look.
In conclusion fuck all of you that just pour the Axe on, fuck all of you that like smelling of “Overtime – for active lifestyles” and fuck all of these corporations that keep targeting young, hawt, football addicted Brahs with too much testosterone. Old People and Nerds who never leave the house sweat too. Hell Fat ass nerds like myself sweat a lot all the time, especially during summer, so how about you make a scent called “Python – for those who spend more time programming than socializing.” or better yet, how about ODORLESS! god damn, its so fucking obvious!

Zebobbybird, Editor and Administrator (of pain)



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