The zombies are near! stock up on porn and lots and lots of tissues because we don’t have much time left! Here’s a video to prove it!
See!! They are real! I’m not crazy, I’m just paranoid! “Finished with my woman ‘cause she couldn’t help me with my mind, people think I’m insane because I am frowning all the time. All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy. Think I’ll lose my mind if I don’t find something to pacify. Can you help me occupy my brain? Oh yeah. I need someone to show me the things in life that I can’t find I can’t see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it’s too late” (Paranoid lyrics just so you know, by Black Sabbath!!)
Well this goes to show you that… Now where did I leave my zombie plan?… Oh right! I have it typed and saved onto my lappytop and I have a copy of it on my Flashy Drive so I’ll always have it! Yay! (That’s called being prepared.)
Well first off, this here is a guide to those of whom of which suck at life. Are you ready to start? Once started you may not stop… or slow down for that matter, so insert a new battery into your rectum if needed right now!!!. And make that shit bleed (no pun intended… well.. maybe just a little). !!!!
The first thing you need to do is… STOPSUCKING! If you can’t, dig a hole to crawl in and I’ll let your imagination do the rest. If you’re lacking creativity, that’s probably the reason that you suck and the solution is simple, smoke some major ass crondo yo!
The second thig is that it’s because of fuck ups like you that make this world the way that it is. I say you should go suck on a cock you pieces of shit, and get that tampon out of your ass, the solution is simple, stop putting stuff in your anus!
And finally, we come to our ultimate conclusion. All that you need to do is simple. Get a new life! Go believe is something crazy and stupid like reincarnation for instance, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll come back as something not as sucky but I doubt it because you already suck ass. You’ll probably come back as a frog or toad or something.
Who wants my social security number!? I know I would like to know it. I’m thinking it’s going to be important. But I don’t get why people even need it. Old people can stink and I’m in L.A.
Today isn’t so bad, stealing internet is illegal and I’m not doing it right now, I’m connected at my aunts house you dumb shits? Now who wants the ip address and login password so you can hack me!? I know I don’t… And so far if you haven’t noticed, I’m just typing a bunch of shit so my friend ze bobby bird (lol I typed it in separately so he will bitch about it later) thinks I’m contributing for the site. Holy shit! by doing anything with the site I’m contributing! Fuck! this totally defeats the purpose of doing anything! Ok well I guess I’ll just go do something else meanwhile.
Guitar Hero and Rock Band! Two totally awesome games for those who want to seem cool because they can only pretend they can play an instrument!
(I play guitar and am pretty good at it just so you know)
Peace Bitches!
Editor’s Note:
Please avoid spelling my user name with spaces as this will result in an instant sticky grenade so far up your ass you’ll be able to spit it out.
Well communism is always a debatable issue. One day Zebobbybird, my bestest buddy in the whole wide world and I were going to go watch Religulous at the local theater and such and our conversation eventually led to talking about commies and their advantages and disadvantages. We led on about this for quite a while, I even remember spilling some mustard on my shirt (fucking hot dog wouldn’t take it!), anywho, we got into the big screen place (I forget what the room is called, fucking drugs, I need to lay off a bit) and we continued on for like half an hour more, and I could feel the tension in the air from the bystanders who don’t like to mind their own fucking business because their lives are too fucking boring, and yea. But have you ever noticed how the communist color is red and so is the republicans!? I think not, I’m probably the one who pointed it out to you just now. I mean, they’re fucking taking over the world man! the republicans want us to believe that they absolutely loath and despise the communist just so they wont blow their cover! THEY’RE WORKINGFORTHEM!!! Next thing you know Russia is going to go back to being communist and they’re going to go over to Palin’s house for a party every weekend! And what do the normal, non communist people going to do about it? Well the answer my friend is absolutely nothing. This is because they obviously are in deep and us democrats don’t know about it yet wink, wink, nudge, nudge. And don’t even make me start on the gangbanging side, they’re fucking taking over man! Now I think I’ll just go hide somewhere, or maybe I should because republican and corrupt it from the inside! I just hope they don’t give you some bullshit communist/republican/bloodz test, that would be a little extreme… but now I just want some more green tea, made with MY special leaves wink, wink, nudge, nudge (insert period blood here)—>.<—
(the arrows are pointing to the period i put there, indicating the end of the statement period
It’s been a while since I posted anything on here, and zebobbybird is getting all anal about how he’s doing all the work and what not, bitching to me at school henceforth not letting me sit down and enjoy my luncheon at the table, so here we go…
Recently I have been thinking about how full of shit Halo 3 is (I play it online a lot, like hella) and it’s always pissing me off. I would swear the engine running that game must be called bullshitron by bullshits inc. And bungie really needs to fix the kill from the grave timer and the beatdowns so that when an opponent is coming at you head on guns a blazin’ and you melee him first and then a second later he melees you and he gets the kill doesn’t happen. This piece of shit programing can go suck a big fat walrus cock. I’m pretty sure some very unskilled, undomesticated monkeys can do a better job, it makes me want to transfer over to Cock of Duty: Modirn Gay Fuck Stupid (lol for those people who got it kudos to you).
So fuck you bungie and get your shit straight and stuff.
Also, we promise to stop making jokes about acute lesbianitis, we now recognize that it is a very serious disease.
eNVy Comics and all its content is proudly made in NevaduhrNevaderp Nevada!
