eNVy Comics!

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As we all know, taking a fatty shit is a private moment. I for one like shit-ing. Your poop can tell you all sorts of interesting facts about your body and what you’re lacking in the diet area. And it can tell you just how fucked up your colon(el) is. Fucked up colons are bad! I hear they suck and you will have to get another one. It’s like having a piece of pie. If you eat it all you wont have any left for later. But if you throw it back up and take the pieces together, you have a brand spanking new shiny piece of pie! How great is that! Which brings me to my next point. Slapping a piece of cheese cake (it’s actually a pie, the guy who named it must have had the munchies and got confused when naming it because drugs will do that to you) in a milk shake is da chit! The cheese cake flavor really packs a punch when drinking it, or slurping it, what ever you do (it also depends how thou makest it). Tis a gift from the heavens!

Hey guys and gals, well maybe not so much gals of account that we hardly get any view on the site and what girl would want to end up on a comics site… Any way, I just thought I might say a few things to you guys to try to get to know me better.

I enjoy long night time walks on the beach, piña coladas, going shopping with my mother to pick out this seasons latest outfits and check out the new trends, and best of all staying up late on a saturday night with my girl friends eating chocolate ice cream and watching the romantics and dramas on the tube…

Well… maybe not so much, but the good news is that I still likes the ice creams!

Editor’s Note
Most of that is (sigh) unfortunately true…
especially the seasonal outfits thing!

The other day I was bored and messing with my xbox right?… good, just making sure we’re all on the same page here. So I was in the process of sending a message to one of my friends (I didn’t send a voice message because I didn’t feel like talking, I’m lazy as hell remember?) and I thought to myself, “there’s got to be a better way of inputting a message without buying the overpriced message pad for the controller”. So my quick wit decided it was about time I tried out my computer keyboard… The only reason I hadn’t tried it earlier is because I was too damn lazy to go pick up they keyboard and put the batteries in it (because it’s wireless!!!) and plug in the receiver for it… So anyways, back to my story. When I finally did get around to plugging it in it worked!!! It’s been so damn great now not having to use the shitty ass controller to do something it wasn’t meant for. And now microsoft is frowning down upon me for using a keyboard and not buying the pad for the controller. Yay!

Aahhh! The all mighty respected, and most feared of spiders. Apparently they’re now invading my home, which sucks. Today I found two not even half a foot away from each other. The way I discovered them was when I was in my old room just checking it out and stuff (because we’re going to rent it out) and I was just kicking the carpeting that one of the steps has with my bare foot (well not really bare, I had socks on) when they both popped out what was disturbing their home. Who would of thought that they were unwelcome and I would end up killing them on the spot with a shoe! Luckily for my family and I, an exterminator will be coming soon. MUAHAHAHA! (that was an evil laugh). I would have taken a picture to post up on here but the entire scene was just too gruesome. They weren’t that big. They weren’t that small either… I’m the man. I’m going to go change myself now…

Editor’s Note:
Please tell me that you are only changing clothes because you have been wearing the same clothes for two days, and not because you pissed yourself after seeing them two gruesome spiders.