We here at eNVy constantly hear things like “so and so’s mother is a slut” and “so and so’s mom is fat” and “so and so’s mother performs fellatio on North Virginia for 10 dollars and also offers ‘Early John’ discounts.” a fad only further provoked by shows like John and Kate.
Many people believe that reading all this in supermarket tabloids and People Magazine is a good way to determine who’s mother is more popular, however, this information is completely baseless and irrational!
That is why we hired Dr. Chicane of the South Hampton Institute of Technology, who has decided to help us (for a hefty fee) come up with a true statistic showing who’s mother is in fact more popular.
After three weeks of research and hours of number crunching, Dr. Chicane was arrested. It turns out that he was actually a mob doctor, and wasn’t even really a doctor at all since his diploma was in English litetarure.
So we decided to throw this together with information gathered from twttrpoop.com.
According to twitter, the most popular mom, in first place with 2624 people talking about her simultaneously, Your Mom! that’s right, Your Mom! And I’m not surprised, considering how much she puts out, and at what low prices! In second place, unfortunately, with a mere 1472 people simultaniously talking about her is my mom. This may be due to her overall low appearance and her “rolls of fatty fat fat skin.” Third place (which really surprised me) with a grand total of 1500 people twitting (tweeting, twiting, tweting, or twating, whatever!) is HER mom, thats right, now that that bitch has broken up with you, you can talk about her mom and it will all be true! Let’s Face it, research says that much of our personality is genetic, that’s why she’s such a fucking slut, because her mom is a fucking slut! In Fourth place is It’s mom (or dad) we really couldn’t tell what “it” was, but It’s mom did give birth to it, so we assume it’s mom is in fact a female, and the mother.
If you would like to know more about twttrpoop and the complicated reasearch it does along side NASA (not that NASA, National Association for Sex and Sodomy) please visit twttrpoop.com
