Today was mother’s day, and guess what, as usual i am pissed off. Maybe its the fact that all my fucking cat-5 cables are broken at the tips and i need to use duct tape to keep them hooked to the rest of my modem, or the coffee spilled on my ethernet card, maybe its the combination of stress and coffee, but hell, as usual i have something to bitch about! Here is a list of grievances that i have with mothers day!
1. It takes place in the same month as prom
Solution: Move it to nine months later, this way all those stupid bitches that were dumb enough to get knocked up can celebrate it.
2. Why so far from fathers day
Solution: make it one day, this way the imbecile that forgot to wear a condom has to deal with the issue
3. Celebrate mother hood, celebrate having kids? I thought we were already 60 years after the 50’s!
Solution: Motherhood is horrible, seriously. i a man, and even i can guess that pushing something the size of a watermelon through an opening the size of a cucumber must be painful. then you have to deal with that fucking watermelon till its 18! I say replace it with “beat the shit out of your kids” day! put them through the pain they put you through this year! You should also be able to beat your husband with your choice of a lead pipe or two-by-fours.
That about covers mother’s day.
Seriously it was a bitch to get my connection up again.